Have been chatting with a friend for 2 consecutive nights before her departure to France and she was telling me how much she miss home already even before departure. Well I think this is something worth doing, coz it shows how much you still love your family. As for me, I have been missing home ever since I first came over on 26 Dec 1999. Yes I still remember this very date of one of the biggest turning point of my life (so far). And for now having spent one-third of my entire life (so far, of course) here away from home, I am proud of myself that I still miss home. Missing home is definitely something good and there's nothing to be ashamed about.
But I do regret tho over certain things:
1. I should have spent more time at home before my departure to Germany.
However, circumstances do force you to make decisions otherwise. Piles and piles of unwanted and undesired Scheiße sometimes just choose a time, so that all of them could happen to you within a rather simultaneous time frame. From visa application to hoping for a job. At least something to do to kill the time. But well, all I could do is wait. And I dare to make this sweeping statement although this is strictly prohibited in A Level General Paper:
ALL Bureaucracies in this world are alike - they do not control the system, rather they are controlled by the system. THE system.
Oh yeah, something unrelated, but last week I received a notice announcing "good news" about fees remaining at status quo at least for the next academic year. My response? At the very first place, the fees are determined by the Board which is under your own control. Now you act as if you have no control over it and announce the good news to us. As if you consulted for our opinions when you decided to raise the fees. What do you expect us to do? Kneel down and give you a thousand kowtows saying "谢主隆恩"？
Let me remind you that I have TWO middle fingers.
Oh yeah, so back to the topic. Should have stayed at home these few days. But sometimes I guess I am used to living independently. So there bound to be certain things I am not used to be bound to something when I am at home. I do not mean that I want a total freedom la, I dont have such financial ability and power to do that anyway. But at least sometimes you need some personal space I guess. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being at home. Guess it's just myself sometimes. However, it's always good to be home. You can sleep all the way until 1 pm (and later being scolded for sleeping until so late and havent eat lunch when mother comes back home. muahaha). That is what I called family life man.
2. I should have gone for exchange in my second year.
Well, not much explanation for this other than me being absolutely stupid and blur in my first year, not knowing how to go around the protocols by then.
3. I should have joined Resonance WAY earlier.
For one I know, I am late for 2 years. But better late then never yeah. Felt this even more as I joined more practices. I have since made a great bunch of new friends and they are all just so cool! For years ever since I entered secondary school (and not able to join the Band simply because it does not exist then in the school), I have been searching for something that I belong to. And it took me a bloody 8 years to discover where I belong. Only about 5 years ago I discovered even myself have the singing cell. Not that it is fantastic, but I am intrigued by the fact that it DOES exist in me. haha... Started singing (in a choir) only in 17, I have definitely much more to catch up. And really thanks for taking me in. I appreciate every single opportunity that is given to me. And yet, I can't take part in the upcoming gigs that have been planned for us. Am truly very sorry about that. Circumstances again.
There's this one thing that I have never regretted about, and that's coming over here to study for so many years. I have learnt to be independent, I have learnt to be responsible for myself and for people closest to me. I have learnt to appreciate and love my family and my home country MORE, and most importantly I have made a significant bunch of great friends over the years. All of you are my sources of inspiration and without you, I wouldn't have survived through these years. Thanks my friends. And million thanks to my parents and brothers as well for all the support you have rendered me for these years. I really don't know how I could pay it back, and I truly appreciate it.
And so what is next? 22 days left counting down to departure. 18 days counting down to Chinese New Year.
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