It's been back and haunting me for the past few days. Feels like everything I do is always not up to the mark and my presence is not being felt very much. Exactly the feeling of being a middle child when I was younger.
This has nothing to do with sibling rivalry, and I am not craving for attention. Come on, how old already, and all 3 of us are in different places. But if you are not a middle child, you probably will not understand how this feeling looms and haunts. Now it just haunts me for some other issues in life.
Maybe I need to learn to be content and seek some tranquility instead. 知足常乐吗?
Probably my indecisiveness over what to do next is affecting my emotional capacity as well. Or are they interrelated I don't know. A great senior advised me to follow my heart. I know where my heart is, but I feel something is wrong about it. I feel insecured. Or is it just the pragmatic side of me trying to take over my mind?
Whatever it is, yeah, I have an inherent inferiority complex. |
