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Dedication Corner

李香兰- 张学友


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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Happy? Kononnya...
Hope everything is going well for everyone in the very new year. Unfortunately it seems that the new year did not really begin that well for me. Things that might seem to be trivial to others but are very important to me. Anyway, I know there's no point being grumpy and complain all about it, whatever Scheiße that is happening will not get better. Maybe letting it all out will make myself feel better just for a split second?

It seems that the world is trying to play a trick on me. Testing my patience over and over again trying to see where my limit lies. Each time I persevered, new things comes in, assimilates and accumulates to the misery testing my new limits.

Things seem to go wrong since I returned to Singapore. From waiting for an admission letter crucial for visa application to waiting for a job application to be approved to waiting for the money to be debited into my account and to applying for the big visa, and to sending money by bank draft by Speedpost.

Are all these jokes? These aren't funny jokes. They are not lame. Surprises after surprises, yet I could not do ANYTHING about them. Life cannot always be smooth, eh? I suppose so. But why does all Scheiße happen at the same time? They are not synchronous, but rather simultaneous.

A friend just told me about giving without thinking too much. But sometimes as it feels like: So, what did I get out of lending a helping hand to a very great extent? I know by saying this, it does reflect about my subconscious mind to expect for returns. I should learn to give MORE happily. And never think about the returns. Shall try to achieve that.

Sometimes I feel hypocritical of myself. Am I a hypocrite?
posted by JE @ 19:19  
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