After working so hard for 3 years and now reaching the end of my SEP Semester, these are all I got from my beloved alma mater University:
1. H Y Project
No replies, no news whatsoever. As I tried to retrieve my File for Graduation Status in Science intranet to double check, I got this reply
"You are not a Science student!"
......
Tell me, shall I cry or laugh? I don't know.
And you can save up your energy if you think of leaving a comment in this post telling me to relax and to calm down and everything will be fine. I do appreciate that you care, but I am really relaxed and calm right now.
2. Accommodation Nuff' said for this. I don't wish to elaborate further.
Was talking online with a reso senior a few days ago and was asked if i m interested in holding comm posts. One of my greatest concern being my CAP which is dangerously hanging on the border between a second upper and second lower. Well what is there to say when my project and supervisor is not even found. Might as well just go ahead with what I currently have passion for.
A series of events that is happening this week have led me to slight depression and start contemplating about life over and over again. Is it really that fair or unfair?
The truth is that it is unfortunately not as fair as you might have imagined. But always when I read news and start observing what happens around me, I would realize that my problems are not that big a deal actually. To possess what I have until now can be considered to be very lucky already actually. And life will not always go according to what you want it to be isnt it? Even when you think you might deserve something, but some other people might deserve it better.
But well this is the world that we live in. Unless we possess the power and capacity to change it, we would just have to live with it if we don't. This is the world that the rich gets richer, and the poor gets poorer (Markovnikov's Rule) and the stronger always get stronger while the weaker always gets eliminated first.
Is this the only way to keep the cycle of life continually running?
这根本就是一个弱肉强食的世界. Either you live with it, or you get eliminated somehow.
I am probably the only person in this world at 22 years of age who is still naive enough to want to believe that the world is somehow fair, when in fact it is absolutely not.
Yes, the fact is, the world is VERY unfair. You will not necessarily get what you deserve.
But who cares anyway. Have to learn to think positive, and be happy with life?
After a very much emotionally fulfilling trip to Vienna, I received some bad news from NUS. Well one of them is not official yet but I found out anyway. Maybe I am too overwhelmed by my happiness built in Vienna but surprisingly I feel quite indifferent about it.
1. Lucky enough, I got a place to stay on Campus. What I did not expect, is that I did not get back to my Hall.
Well I guess I can tell what's happening. Who wants a final year student who is highly unlikely to contribute to the hall anyway rite? Too bad they want to think it that way. I am not going to appeal anymore. I am tired of the system.
2. I did not get the Honours Year supervisor I have asked.
Haha this one not surprising la. If CAP is really that important I really have nothing to say. Only have ownself to blame for not having a good CAP lor.
But I still think results are not everything. A fantastic result does not necessarily imply good attitude. But I guess in the real and cruel world, it at least serves as a first impression and as a reference for people to make their choices.
Of Thoughtfulness, Selfishness and Being Taken For Granted
Did I ever announce that adulthood sucks?
If no, I wish to make the announcement now. Yes, announcement.
ADULTHOOD SUCKS
And how ironic it is for when I was young I had always long to be an adult. Because adults have all the freedom to decide for what they want to do in their lives. What I did not realize, is that with this freedom comes great responsibility. Adulthood is just not as simple as I have once imagined when I was still young and naive. There are just so many things to consider and there are just so many crossroads in life. Sometimes I just want to run away from all this, but where can I run to? You can run, but you can't hide. Yeah well said. Time to face the truth of the cruelty of this world.
Certain incidences that happened in the past weeks have led me towards wondering how cruel the real world can be at times. A Chinese proverb always says that we depend on parents at home but we would depend on friends when not. (在家靠父母,在外靠朋友) But well my advice is, unless the friendship has been through the test of time and sincerity, do not expect too much from new friends. And never take friendships for granted, for you would never know what happens next. Unfortunately some people builds friendship out of convenience. You are only called a friend when you are of some use to them. Otherwise, you do not worth even a single cent.
Don't worry. Nothing has happened to me. Just some random thoughts. So cherish all the friendships that you are sure is sincere. These are the precious ones. Learn to appreciate, and there's more to come in Life. This is not an easy thing at all to learn though.
Is selfishness a form of self defence mechanism? Does it lie dormant in every individual and surfaces on different situations depending on the character of the person? The cruelty of the truth of Life tells me so. And a constant reminder to self about thoughtfulness for others has from time to time landed me on the verge of compromising too much - so much so that my own preference might have been forgone. Is it worth it at the end of the day? And do I deserve this after such compromise? Am I expecting too much in return? Should I even expecting returns from compromising into something?
Maybe I am just born to be taken for granted. Who cares anyway. Maybe I'll just be labelled as another person who is sensitive, calculative and narrow minded 小器鬼.
Time always flies before you can ever realize it. And now it is already June. 65 days left before this special chapter of my uni life ends and must fly back already.
And the weather welcomes the coming of June with a whole day of rain. So far this is the heaviest rain i have ever experienced since I came to Europe.
Its less than 15 degrees out there, yet I still wore short sleeve t shirt to shop for food in the afternoon. Muahaha
