The travel plan for this weekend has been cancelled.
Would probably spend my Saturday in office (for the first time since the commencement of my employment there), since I have substantially excused myself (mostly unofficially) for at least 2 half-days this week. Felt kinda bad for that, so I think I'll make up for it anyway.
After all, since I am likely going to spend my free time this weekend to emo, might as well put the time into good use, as it could be a good distraction as well.
Sometimes I really wish if life could be as simple as during my childhood days. Then again, I was probably too lucky and spoilt back then to understand the cruelty of this world.
I apologize to you all dear readers for my depressing entries recently. Find it difficult to be optimistic for now and would likely to be like this for quite some time.
Don't worry about me though. I will be alright I guess. Just thinking a lot more... on the more gloomy side.
Let's hope that things will get better. Next week? =)
Let's hope. Well, not like there's anything else that we could do more.
If only I could make such a difference. Sometimes I really hate myself for being so lucky seeing how the people around me suffer.
I don't know how many times I have repeated this, and will repeat this again.
I grew up thinking the world is perfect. But now as I slowly stepped into adolescence and adulthood, all the cruelty of facts started to smack my face one after another.
Is this the way life is? Someone please tell me. Why does life have to be so unfair?
WHY?! WHY NOW?!?!
And please, may political peacefulness be restored in my beloved home. Things have been dragging for far too long and if this continues, all 27 million of us will be suffering just because of your personal power struggles.
After what the officers at the immigration department told me today, it led me to regret my earlier decision of the application, seems that cannot be undone now.
Hmm maybe it is fated, but shall see what happens from now. Wishing the very best for Malaysia right now. Am confident that we could all go through together.
I grow up in a wonderful country rich in natural resources, free from natural disasters and was on a high momentum on its way to becoming a developed country by 2020.
However, as I reached adulthood, I began to learn about the other side of the truth: even when the grass might not be greener outside, does not mean it will be green in itself. And little did I know how far away we were kept from the truth - the democracy that is being practiced over the decades... could just be a show-tell after all. Who knows, with Operasi Lalang in 1987, Constitutional Crisis in 1988 and what else is not manipulated by the government to stay in power?
To sum up everything, 神又是他们，鬼又是他们。
And it happened twice in the Malaysian history: when the ruling coalition is on the verge of losing their power once and for all, they flash the racial card, instigate a racial riot to divert the people's attention, declare a state of emergency and then abuse the absolute authority to restore their desired power equilibrium.
It happened once on 13 May 1969. And that costed the post of our Father of Independence to his deputy.
It almost happened again in 1987, when the largest component of the ruling coalition was split into 2 factions, and the then decisive leader without any hesitation instigated another round of racial tensions, and then arrested over 100 opposition party members using ISA in the name of preserving the peace and security of the people.
Should this unfortunately (hopefully NOT) escalated AGAIN, it may well be the third repetition of the history. And it shows that Malaysians never learn from history. Or do we?
And this time, the deputy is the son of the deputy 39 years ago.
The political situation in my country has over and over again been questioning my loyalty or perhaps, when many people has since been talking about migrating out of the country altogether to seek a better life, I beg to differ. Instead, I feel the stronger urge in myself to give what I can for the better of the people.
Several concerned acquaintances have been asking me why I am being so insistent on my citizenship despite the availability of a very good opportunity in my adopted country which just requires one condition for me to fulfill: a change in citizenship. And without hesitation it is out of my list of consideration.
The reason behind this is very simple: actually there's no reasons needed. You are entitled the right to go home any time you want and you do not have to give any reasons.
I hate it when after all the sacrifices have been willingly made, a group decision has to be changed again to suit individual needs. I hate it when some people still insist on their own agenda despite knowing I am making a compromise on my side.
Is it wrong to expect people to suit to the best for the group? Or am i unfairly expecting people to willingly reach a compromise at a similar level that I make? Am I expecting too much?
Just so not in any mood today. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!?!
me setting this blog to allow limited access is not to enable myself to bitch about others. In fact, I don't like to bitch about people in my blog as I do not want to hold grudges for too long. Keeping an entry on such thoughts will always remind me of the bitter past, which I do not want to remember.
Well yep anyway, just want to enjoy some space that belongs only to me, and sharing it only with people I wish to.
To those of you who have been wondering the story behind the messages posted on my MSN, I apologize for causing the worry. Let's just say that, a number of events that took placeo ver the course of the week have been sparking me to think a lot.
To say that I am not affected at all is simply a blatant lie. Have been wondering about the cruelty in life. Sometimes I wish I could avoid them, but there comes a point where the only option is to face them yourself. Sometimes I wish I could do more, but you'll realize that there's only so much you can do.
It would probably take some time to heal, I guess. Just don't wish things to take a turn to the worse. If only I could to more to help.
Finally, after much hesitation, this is my final decision.
But I was 2 hours late though. Actual switching time was 2.02 am, 06 September 2008.
I decided to switch this blog to strictly selected viewership in part to protect some of my own privacy and so that I could express my views more freely without having to worry too much about provoking any random person who could reach my blog by just a simple Google at my name.
And till just now, this blog has been open to the public for a total 3 years and 7 months: 1 month short of beating the length of the Japanese Occupation.
this blog shall be transferred to a more low-key setting in order to safeguard privacy of the blogger and for the blogger to monitor the viewership more closely. He has been allowing this blog to be accessible to the public for far too long, and would therefore no longer want to succumb himself into random scrutiny at his private, hence potentially provocative thoughts.
Keen readers please approach him to be added into the permission list.
The blogger hereby seeks the understanding of his readers with regards to the abovementioned matter. Any inconveniences caused is deeply regretted.
