Okay, so another day has gone. A day filled with disappointment, anxiety and hopelessness. Disappointment? None other than my test results la... Sighx... made a number of mistakes that should not have been made. But nevermind la... What is done is done... Can only learn from all the mistakes made and move on from there. One just cannot stay too long in depression or in disappointment just because the test results is bad. Haha... afterall it's been the tradition of my educational history --> Always screwed up my mid-sem test. Then only I would be 'inspired' and 'motivated' to really work hard for the finals. Always. Yes. Primary School, Secondary School, College.. (haha... my JC classmates would know how i did for my J1 mid year) and now even in Uni.. haha... but still ok la not as screwed as my J1 mid year.. just not up to my expectations basically. Now my brain is really full of quantum physics and equations with integration and stuffs... Anxiety is for my fellow beloved juniors la.. hehe... having known that the predicted A level results release day is 4 March (not sure tho), can imagine how nervous they are now. as compared to how I felt the same time last year la haha. Really wish that they could get better, if not the same results as me. Okay, enough of results. Building up tension and stress only. Anyway, this morning the Rat visited my room again. Although it tried to come in quietly but still it destroyed and totally devastated my peacefulness in sleeping. Too bad I am a very light sleeper and was still woken up. Sighx... is my food really so delicious? Or is my room just a very convenient place for you to sneek in? Don't force me until I use rat poison on you la... I really don't want to do that. You can steal my other stuffs, but not my food! Hahaha..... see lah thats why I m so fat now. Anyways it is not surprising la for residents in this KE VII Hall.. to see all kinds of insects and exotic creatures since my Hall is located to near to the nature just by the hillside. Spiders (not the small spiders u see on the wall per se, they are almost the size of your palm and you can see them moving in a 3D manner... no hair la not the Tarantulas, but large enough to stimulate your anterior pituitary gland to increase your adrenaline concentration in blood and increase your heartbeat.) (wahh my bio still can make it. haha), cicaks (lizards) , ants (these are irritating ones, they are small and they are everywhere. Even when u take your food away. Dunno what they want from my room).. sometimes insects that I don't even know how they are called. I do see caterpillars around, but after a while usually they disappear... maybe thanks to the birds and crows around which picked them up along the way? haha.. heard stories about seniors seeing monkeys and even snakes around. Haha... so far so good la the hall is still a considerably safe place to stay. Conducive for studies at least. If you stay in the west wing la. It rained again today! Right after I came back from my 6-hour series of lecture and it amazingly stopped right before I left for my Phy Chem test at 6. Nice that it kept the temperature down la for the day. These few days have been cloudy. Really hope that this will be the end for the drought and heat wave... Listening to the Best of Jacky Cheung's Collection ---> Plain Piano Version. Just instrumental and in Piano. All the very very nice classic songs sang by Jacky Cheung (those songs are about 15 years old already la if not 10).. very 'lum' .. haha... have been playing it for trillion of times... still find it soothing to eardrums and a source of tranquility to heart and soul. Music can really calm one's emotion. Alright. Time to go get some rest. Migraine building up again. If not this blog today will be endless. Dunno why I so long winded today... sooo many stories to tell. Haha
argh... whats wrong with my nose ler... really cant understand. For so many years already.. is there a hole in my sinus or what?! Can't imagine how my future will be.. with a inconsistently leaky nose.. leaking whenever it likes.. even after I took a short nap, it didnt improve. And believe me, I finished about 3 packets of tissue papers for that. For goodness sake, hope I am not thinking too much and it won't develop into some kind of illness that would jeopardize my work in the future.. haha... Had a conversation with this very old and very close friend this afternoon... really feel very bad for not being able to help her solve her problem but sitting in front of my comp helplessly listening to her problems. Well she has made her choices, but choices can be changed and its better than regretting for the rest of one's life... Feel grateful that I have more wonderful and understanding parents who allow their children to pursue their interests --> but they won't care if there's any problems we face with regards to our choices. Well, true enough --> we have to be responsible for what we do, and what we choose. If you get yourself into the mess, then you get yourself out of the mess. Fair enough ya.. To J: Always believe in yourself. Don't let the view of others affect how you think about yourself. Yes, certain comments might be helpful and certain comments are just meant to be demoralizing. This is the real world. Just have to learn to distinguish and filter out the good from the bad. Choices are to be made throughout your life, and there bound to be mistakes made. Afterall, no one is perfect. Though I know now that the problem does not lie with you, you have to be even tougher and prove to him that you are matured enough to decide for what you want. This is your life! Have been revising Physical chemistry the whole day by doing the Worked Examples (haha.. overdued self assignment actually) and trying some of them from the Atkin's Textbook. Now brain is saturated and going to crystallize... (Wonder what kind of things will crystallize, hope not the calculus stuffs from the module. Argh... Test tomorrow!!! Evening paper summore. Hope I won't fall asleep doing the paper (giving up because of having absolutely no idea what the question is talking about) Went for interview for the holiday activities... Thinking back, really doubt whether I had made a good decision. Now that not even a single trace of my holiday schedule is confirmed and I am getting myself into all this. Sigh, after all I realised I am not a very good planner of how I want to live my life. Things always do not turn out to be what I have expected in the beginning. Maybe the desire to have fun and enjoy life digress my mind away? Can't imagine now that I have joined so many activities in my first year. Time to settle down and seek some tranquility for my mind. I think it's getting stressed up enough. Nowadays my capacity to hold my anger and temper is running short. No idea why tho, possibly because it is not calm enough? Still thinking if I should join the Buddhist Society next semester and go for the Meditation classes.... Generally it has not been as hot today as the previous days. Hope the humidity level can remain for some more time to at least bring down the heat. Raining is good! ;) It at least cleanses the polluted air and tame the fires raging in the dried forests of Malaysia and Indonesia (and also certain bush areas in Singapore). Hope not many people are affected in terms of respiratory problems. Three weeks more, after the equinox, the rainy days will return. Can't wait for them to arrive! Okayz, migraine is setting in. Time to sleep and get started for the next half of the second sem. To all my peers, 加油！ がんばって! Alles Gute vor allem Erfolg! Add lots and lots of oils and Ace your mid terms. Show your Professors that their papers can be conquered.
Went to watch Constantine with Aman and Stefan last night at GV Jurong Point. The effects are good though I find the story a lil confusing. Possibly coz of my unfamiliarity with the Bible. At least now I get a slightly further and deeper insight into the sacred writings (not from the movie but thanks to Aman). Thought I would have nightmare then but everything seems to be peaceful when i wake up. Just that I heard noises of rats chewing on something in my room in the middle of the night.... Gosh cant believe it... Rats again! To the Rat: Although we are also rodents, I really don't want to harm you in anyway unless you force me to. I know you are hungry la... but at least go steal other pple's food kayz? (Hahaha... *evil grins*)Okay, if u r angry and want to seek revenge for me because of your mother, I can always feed you a big fat spider (go and find yourself outside my room in the hills.. I'm sure there are aplenty out there. You won't be hungry when u go back lor) Supposed to study now la (Physical Chemistry... again!!) but feelling sleepy... hha... maybe thats why didnt write much this time.. :P go back to zZzZzZzZzZzZzZ...
It really makes a whole lot of difference to rain. After all these days... days under a microwave oven and walking on the heat scorched and dried earth... led me to appreciate the rain. Raining is not a bad thing afterall. Now I feel that the rest of the day is not so hot afterall. Maybe coz the thick cloud is covering the sun la. But dont care as long as its not so scorching hot then good enough. Dont understand why does the radio broadcast station still describe raining as 'bad weather.. i'd rather die of freezing cold than to die of the irritating heat!
Another day of doing nothing other than procrastination. One may find that this is also a form of luxury in Singapore. Sometimes you are just so occupied with your stuffs that time flies like no one else's business. Just to take my life for example, I really cannot imagine that I have stayed in Singapore been more than 5 years already. This means another 6 years to go. Really can't wait for that moment... haha... to see the rest of the world. yes, although the moon is not necessarily brighter nor the grass is greener at the other side of the road, still I cant wait to leave this place. Not to say that it's been unpleasant la... if it is I won't be staying for so long also rite... maybe its because of my ambitious and adventurous mind.. haha... well anyway, still gotta enjoy the last few years of my studying life. Afterwards it'll then be the rest of my life. Phew!
My family is in Melaka today. Cousin having an open house. How nice if I could join them, but it is my choice to stay back. haha... so cannot complain lah... the only thing to miss out is GOOD FOOD.... Argh!!!!
Thinking back of what I have done for the past 3 years in JC, really cannot imagine how motivated and inspired I was then. Can sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 3 am just to rush tutorials... Rush to keep ahead summore... And at that time I really studied until like a desperate nerd. Especially for GP, was so enthusiastic and so eager to improve my grades that my tutor Mrs Leow told me to cool down and take it slowly. Since A levels ended, somehow that level of energy is lost. Haha... lost as electromagnetic radiation??? nah... no Quantum Physics here!!! Now? Skipping lecture when I feel like it, sleeping at 1am or 2am, waking up at 8am, ... might not b a big deal to most of the people la but to me this is really not the me 3 years ago. Haha... dun care la... Uni time is the best time to play!!!!! Afterall, first class honours is only for those gifted and talented, no matter how hard one studies (in NUS at least), only the gifted pple can get lah... there wont be my turn.
What to do? Still stuck in this place. Haha... Have to try go study again. If not will get differentiated and never integrated... Finally start blogging again.. hehe.. lets see how this can last..
Another day passed, yet now, another day has begun. Wondering how would I want to spend this new day? first thing first ---> as usual, the breakfast was terrible... Fried rice with fish cake which definitely does not taste fresh. Spoil my appetite only... Actually not healthy to eat fried rice every morning also... but nvm... too bad its the most edible amongst all the breakfast main course. Had a terrible nightmare today... haha... think i woke myself up at around 7 coz not long after i woke up the alarm clock rang... but went back to sleep tho... just keep on pressing the snooze button in my handphone. Woke up finally at 8 am, 1 hour later than the scheduled time. Doesnt matter anyway.. its still a break (for me at least)... sometimes really cant make sense out of it... why on earth is the week break only till thursday, and a new week starts on friday? What is the big deal of having just another day of break? Its been weeks since the daily temperature soars above 33 degrees on average!!!!!! And yet, not a single day there is with rain longer than 5 minutes... I will really get mad under the weather like this... good enough not falling sick already and have to bathe every now and then... Sorry lah i m not the kind who can stand sweat... sweat irritates my skin and makes me feel uncomfortable... tak boleh tahan lah... and everytime i would sweat just as easily as talking crap.. Plan to go Central Library later... at around 10.30am.. haha... finally get to go on Friday... see how much can progress in studying today lah... Physical Chemistry... cross my fingers man... scary!
What another day... played badminton with wachn yesterday morning.. initially thought it'll be a group thing but ended up only 2 of us.. hahaa... then after the game went for K with Suk Ming and gang... sang there till about 2 something pm? Initially planned to study a bit la... but kind of cant concentrate much... haha.. cant help it ler what to do? Anyway this is meant to be a mid-sem break and we students deserve a REAL break afterall. Assignments and exams are not everything. Went to e-daf to check for updates: Oral test coming up!! was thinking why it comes so soon but thinking about it again, its already the second half of the sem and everything seems to proceed very very fast! (hehe... which means the immersion is coming soon, really can't wait to go there!) Cant stand the heat here... at least 30 degrees everyday!!! Even sit also cannot coz u just sweat for nothing! I think I'd rather die of freezing than to die of heat... haha.. Even bush fires are blazing around Singapore! guess the drought going on this year has been very very bad... (Bush fire doesnt mean President Bush send troops to attack Singapore hor...) Sigh... really in dilemma now... what shall i do in the holidays? Immersion, home, work, activities? How am i to allocate the time... and guess what... one academic year is gonna end just like that... cant imagine that soon i will be graduate and looking for job! argh!! wow realized that i digressed a lot whilst writing... haha.. dun care! just wana put down my instantaneous thoughts :) Right now... i just want to sleep... haha... watched Three Kingdoms today and i feel like buying the VCD (gotta save money from now tho) zZzZzZzZzZzZ....
